but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
