we have officially lost it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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