You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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