How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
