i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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