Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
