Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
