I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize