Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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