Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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