This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
