She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
