yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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