I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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