i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
