Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
