he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
