and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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