I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
