I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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