This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
