i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
