He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
vagina is talking i cant
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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