you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
