I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
