im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
