Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
