But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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