If i come over, it means nothing
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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