I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
