just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
