Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
