absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
