Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
