She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
