Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
