So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
