I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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