Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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