if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
