Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
