But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
