i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
