Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize