my soul wont recognize me after tonight
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
