I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can't special order awesome
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
