using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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