if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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