I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
