who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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