she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
