There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize