you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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