I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize