when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
