You made me cry and you don't even care
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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