singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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