There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
