guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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