You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
