Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
