People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
