he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just threw up on my dentist
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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