piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
