It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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